No matter how cool a place you take your kids on vacation, the only part they really want to see is the gift shop.

I can't really get into World Cup Soccer. In every match, they've got two teams who are constantly trying to outmaneuver each other, pushing and shoving, and most of the time, neither one of them can even advance the ball. It's just way too much like American politics.

Last night on the news, they had a story about this soccer goalie with Tourette's Syndrome. They said it interferes with his job. Seems to me, a soccer goalie who screams obscenities at his opponents is about as handicapped as an ice hockey wing man with a short temper.